a friend told me today that sobriety is synonymous with honesty (I don't know if this is linguistically accurate, I didn't investigate).
He told me, in reference to his struggle with a physical addiction, that "if you are not spiritually honest you are not sober."
another friend, in another conversation told me that I'm bored "and you're creating interest in your life."
Now (without trivializing the very real struggles of a physical addiction) I am wondering if I am an addict. I am addicted to drama, to excitement, to confusion and a feeling of losing control. I process this more functionally that I did, in my younger years, but it's still there.
after striving to create a sense of normalcy in the turbulence of my days I still seek out and encourage an unnecessary level of madness.
maybe if I get some new poses that will be enough of a struggle to get me to tone it down.
but maybe I just need to grow up.